Wopke did not find the skating round with Sven Kramer useful either. But couldn’t he really have thought of that before? Which fossil idiot within the CDA made this up for God’s sake? Where does this employee live without television and WiFi? In a remote farm in Ruinerwold? You’re not making this up, are you? A minister who goes ice skating in a hall today! So nobody has thought about that dull CDA. Not even Wopke himself. He was probably calling a few billions for that poor KLM. Maybe Ahold and Jumbo want to make a billion.
When I saw that blunder photo yesterday morning, I knew that Wopke had not been advised by Liselot. Previously by the golden duo Willem Engel and Jeroen Pols. That these two virus-crazy election consultants had convinced him that a lap of Thialf would be very good for his image. And a game against Sven was great fun. Wopke could easily win that. At the moment, Kramer can only manage behind Claudia Pechstein’s old kitchen chair.
Yesterday I called the CDA to ask how it was exactly. They freely admitted that the telephone line was ringing off the hook. Red hot with shame. Someone had already been fired from the campaign team. Immediately. And now let’s hope this scatterbrain does not take Ferd Grapperhaus as a lawyer. Then no redemption payment.
Talking about Grapperhaus. Coincidentally, I was at Mark’s in the Torentje for a cup of coffee last Tuesday and saw the desperate mess on his desk. Pieces of tape, an old dirty plaster, bent paper clips, two crooked thumbtacks, a thumbed sheet of illegible notes, and a jar of hardened wood glue. Mark said that Ferd had been busy all night trying to get a secondhand curfew working again. Hugo had given some tips, but that only irritated Ferd. I asked if it had worked. According to Rutte, the clock was ticking again, but it was not running smoothly yet. That certainly worked out well. It’s a matter of patience. That is the beauty of our always optimistic Prime Minister, who was actually called a dictator in our parliament last Thursday. By one Kuzu from Denk still. I thought it was remarkable. That Kuzu, as Erdogan’s slippery heel-licker, must really know what a dictator is. I’ve never seen our prime minister lock anyone up for a happy cartoon. And also not for a tweet that he doesn’t like. I recommend Mr Kuzu to say the same thing about the Turkish President. Do that Tunahan. Just call your friend Erdogan a dictator. And then also say something about the Armenian genocide. I am so curious how that ends.
I saw Rutte look up for a moment, but luckily he didn’t take any notice of this bastard. That Kuzu may thank Allah on his bare knees that he lives here and may say all this in our country. Elsewhere in the world they are less mild. In Spain you will already be arrested if you call the mafia boss Juan Carlos a mafia boss. Article link https://www.news1.news/news/2021/02/through-the-ice-nrc.html
The former king has lifted the tent for at least sixty million. Are you a mob boss then? Ah yes royalty. Tragic puppet shows for the fairytale believers. Harry and Meghan have now really officially turned their backs on this nonsense. Harry had long lost his appetite after his mother’s murder. This week when the documentary about Britney Spears was constantly thinking of Diana.
But I called the CDA and spoke to a somewhat nervous press officer. I asked if there were any more fun election activities on the agenda. She started enthusiastically about Mona Keizer who will visit a swingers club in Zeewolde next week with Dion Graus and his bodyguards. Ank Bijleveld spends a long weekend in a house in the Ardennes. With Keith Bakker.
I wished the party luck. And many seats.
A version of this article also appeared in NRC Handelsblad of 20 February 2021
A version of this article also appeared in nrc.next of February 20, 2021
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