X Factor 13, report cards: all this is boredom

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The first direct of X Factor 13, as they say in certain desolate lands of the Bassa, it was as tasty as sucking a cat's mustache. The judges look like a middle-class family that has finished paying the mortgage. All courteous, all desperate. Grandmother, Mara Maionchi, sometimes he still yells a pig, but he would do more like castigamatti, and unfortunately there are no more madmen here in a while. Even the reckless grandson, Sphere Ebbasta, when he sits down at the table he is a good boy and says "thank you, please, sorry".

The caravan goes on, like all bourgeois families, for one reason only: what will people think? The only legitimacy remaining, for a program that has consumed the libido in years of routine and automatic gestures, is claimed by Cattelan at the end of each round. The words speak well, as they have for a good decade: "The public has voted, and has decided" … How to say: you are still important, do not abandon us, the survival of this universe depends on you. As long as there is a vote there is hope. Once the ideas are over, the consensus remains. The artistic expression in the times of populism.

So we could give Cattelan an 8, but inverted horizontally, the symbol of infinity, since the program starts with a zoom inside his blue eye, between his neurons and his synapses, and then even deeper, until to the new X Factor building and to the Brianza and to this galaxy, so much so that one wonders, opening one's eyes wide for a sudden epiphany: is there a universe outside Cattelan?

We could give a 10 a
Shablo that, at the last vote, appears on the stage instead of the competitor Giordana Petralia and her harp – because at midnight the minors must turn back into pumpkins like the Cinderella carriage. We could also give 10 to the verse composed by the Sierra and incensed by their judge Samuel, because "those who write a verse have the right to be heard". The verse in question is: "I drink rainwater to feel a piece of sky inside me". We could give him 10 as it is given to an elementary term that does not offend the teacher nor the companions nor the table of 7, a verse that has the only merit of not offending anyone, a harmless verse.

We could give various votes, to the other guest, Coez, to the twelve competitors in the race divided into three heats, to the large dance troupe and to the reasonably festive audience. But, on balance, the only sensible vote is the one that follows. Franco Califano: 110 votes and honors with academic lemon. With her Everything else is boring prophesied the outcome of the first Live. Below is the full text, modically modified for this purpose, which is worth more than any explanation:

Yes, the X Factor agrees
The illusion that you will be someone
Repeat phrases that are all the same
Care notes to your many ills
The audience that saves you from sharks
You already see yourself a billionaire in Bali
Televoto but then …
All this is boredom
No, I didn't say glory
But boredom, boredom, boredom
Intoned boredom
Yes, I know the first Mara
The ancient strength of saying fuck
With his smile turning hard
Forget a title is already secure
Then he says right note at the right time
And you think, life is done, it's all right
Televoto but then …
All this is boredom
No, I didn't say glory,
But boredom, boredom, boredom
Intoned boredom
Then the new jurors
Sphere in glasses and Samuel the black man
Malika and her stern look
Everything works like a cemetery
Mika also sings at the top of his lungs
Among a crowd from Coca-Cola commercials
Televoto but then …
All this is boredom
No, I didn't say glory
But boredom, boredom, boredom
Intoned boredom
Yes, the first cry agrees
He comes only with a bearded guy
In place of Giordana and her lute
Hello, minor, because it's midnight
Cinderella bidid bodidi bu
Anyone who ever wants you to look at you on Youtube
Televoto but then …
All this is boredom
No, I didn't say glory
But boredom, boredom, boredom
Intoned boredom



Source link
https://www.rollingstone.it/opinioni/opinioni-tv/x-factor-13-le-pagelle-tutto-questo-e-noia/482955/

Dmca

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